CALM DOWN MR. NYACHAE!

Before the Cross Country came back home, Mombasa had roads not worth writing home about. Then things changed. Street lights were lit, Mama Ngina drive turned into a gem and the roads, well- they were re-carpeted. At least that is what we all thought until the rains started pounding the region for seven straight days unraveling the mystery that is road re-carpeting.

The Mombasa beautification was overseen by none other than the Chief Government Spokesman, Dr. Alf Mutua! Chief, because he is the only one mandated to explain government policy to Kenyans in a lingua franca easily understood not the legal gobbledygook! But being Kenya, we have other spokesmen/women who never know how irritating it is listening to their prattle!

When he returned to Mombasa after the Cross Country had come back home and returned to wherever it came from, and much later after the rains, he was shocked to find the roads were back to the pre-homecoming. Visibly enraged and angry at the shoddy job, he called for the arrest of the contractors and away they were taken by the police.

In Parliament, Nyachae was angry and threatening to resign because of Mutua’s actions!

My advice to him - RESIGN ASAP!

Mutua was angry and rightly so, as any right thinking Kenyan would after putting all their energy on something and paying for it through the nose only for it to crumble due to a shoddy job and worker! But we must, try as we might, and am not justifying the contractor’s actions, that Nyachae belongs to a clique of the old moneyed guard for whom anything goes as long money has been made. To them, service delivery and shame are words from the Martian vocabulary!

The contractors did a shoddy job and Nyachae threatening to resign over this is rather weird. Resigning because your corrupt cohorts have been nabbed? Get Real Nyachae! Why are you siding with a lot that deserves to be put into the coolers and the keys thrown to the ocean floor? Nyachae, his ilk and these type of contractors are the people who have made Kenya what it is today. Roads are poor; hospitals are under funded, drugs rotting at the supplies dept …… Isn’t he ashamed that barely two months after re-carpeting, the roads have crumbled to poor state? But conscience is alien to this geezer.

Mr. Nyachae, don’t you know that you and your ilk are a curse on the Kenyan people and the faster you get out of the scene the better for all of us for you have overstayed your welcome.

And spare us the theatrics and child-like tantrums Mr. Nyachae.

And Mutua, keep them old timers on their toes as well as the under-performing government officials!

GAY’S SCIENTIFIC CONFERENCE!

The last such conference was held in South Africa sometimes early this month. When I put it in this blog that they shouldn’t think of going about their carnal pleasures in public but rather do it in the dark unless they are in South Africa, I never thought that I would revisit the issue this soon!

They held their conference in a Hotel in North Coast and they only came into public because the Mombasa’s Councilors were also holding one of their ‘retreats’ at the same venue. Definitely, they also caught the attention of the journalists who were covering the meet, hence the publicity. Thus, meeting had to be done behind closed doors due to security issues.

On this issue, this blogger isn’t homophobic neither is he a moral police! Last time I checked, it was against the homosexuality was against the law but also, that law is seldom applied!

CRY MY BELOVED COUNTRY

What is happening here? Kenyans are killing each other left, right and centre. Even the often peaceful Central Province is aflame! No province has been left behind as they all have ‘pockets of violence’ to paraphrase the Iraqi war terminologies! A thousand and one questions linger in this blogger’s mind:

What is the government doing to stop the killers?

Will questioning some MP’s solve the problem?

What is Michuki doing as the Minister of (In)Security to curb the violence?

Why is the President silent as people slaughter one another?

Does the government have the political as well as the military will to curb the violence?

Is it wrong for this blogger to believe that this government is guilty of abetting genocide?

Are we Kenyans damned if we believe that the government can’t handle the situation?

Isn’t the government damned to lose the elections due to insecurity?

Will this blogger be wrong to say that this government is hemorrhaging vote due to insecurity?

Is it a wild thought to say that the real threat to National Security isn’t what is published by the media; rather it’s the over-insecurity being witnessed in the whole country?

Isn’t it weird for Michuki to blame the Judiciary for his shoddy work?

If the police cant protect themselves from the attacks, pray I ask who will protect Kenyans who are unarmed.

Isn’t it time Kibaki sacked Michuki and Ali for gross incompetence?

Since the Security Ministry is under the Office of the President, wouldn’t it be fair to also ask Kibaki to step aside for incompetence?

Would it be in the realm of reality to categorically state that this government has redefined the word ‘incompetence’?

Just a Thought!

BLOGGERS FOR GOOD FUNDRAISING CHALLENGE

This is a noble effort by the bloggers through the blogcatalog to raise at least $25,000.00 to help schools mainly those in New Orleans. Yes, New Orleans that was struck by the Hurricane Katrina.

If successful, and it will be, I believe, it will set a precedent that the blogging world can come together for a cause to assist humanity.

The funds will be used to purchase all manner of things that a kid in need will utilize to make his stay in school more productive and learn while at it. You can donate money or at the same time purchase their gift certificates in support of the cause. Up until May 28^th, funds collected were $12,713,018 and had been donated to 568,670 students in need.

Support this worthy cause and change the life of a young kid in need.

Click the link below for more:

(http://www.donorschoose.org/donors/viewChallenge.html?id=16793)

PREPARE FOR WAR MUTAHI KAGWE

I once thought that in Mutahi Kagwe, Kenya had a hardworking minister at its disposal. What with all the Submarine cable affairs and SNO as well as his co-operation to make the telecom industry better. But not anymore.

The media bill that he has introduced is an insult to the intelligence of Kenyans who value the freedom of in formation. The bill reeks of authoritarianism, dictatorship, myopia all cooked together in the pot of stupidity!

Kagwe should have had the mind to read the public mood and know that as long as the government places itself against the media, it will always be the looser and hands down while at it. He should have learnt from the escapades of his father-in-law (Michuki). Today, Michuki is known more as the media basher his success at the Transport Ministry notwithstanding. It’s an albatross on his neck that he will go with to his grave! Kagwe should also have foreseen the furor that would have resulted from his bill.

This blogger holds no brief for the press, but on any day and twice on Sunday, I would bet my life with the Press than the government.

That the Media Bill seeks to regulate the media, accredit the journalists will fall even before it flies. In parliament, it’s bound to come into obstacles because this being an election year, not many MP’s will want to be seen to be antagonistic to the press. What with their renewed power and influence in the mind of Kenyans. The Press in Kenya isn’t the legendary Fourth Estate; it has metamorphosed into the First Estate! On this front, the press will fight back tooth and nail and trust me; the loser is as predictable as the sun rises – The Government. No single power in the world fights the press and wins! Never!

The Kibaki administration will go down history as one which took the repression of the press freedom to new lows thanks to the official corruption that it seeks to hide by repressing the media. What a Legacy Kibaki will leave.

As I have said earlier in this for a, this government operates as though it’s on a permanent self-destruct mode. They will wake up when it’s too late to do anything. One wonders if this is part of its re-election game plan. And don’t be surprised when otherwise smart people in the administration act as stupidly as Kagwe and his ilk. Soon a government of fools and its voters are bound to part ways eventually.

It’s good and heartening to know that Freedom of Information Bill 2007 has been tabled by Prof. Anyan’g Nyong’o and its main target is the Official Secrets Act.

ILLICIT BREWS LEGALISED

At last one can now waltz into a busaa or chang’aa den and imbibe the tipple without the fear of police raids! Also, the mama pimas will make a tidy sum now that the police will not threaten them with raids for cash exchange.

So the police will have to look for other sources of quick money soon lest they go ‘hungry’!

This blogger hopes that the government will institute the necessary quality benchmarks for the brewers to meet and that the Standards Bureau will have the capacity to enforce the stringent measures so that drinkers can be rest assured that they are consuming safe drinks.

The other brewers are definitely not happy about this development but that is the price of liberalistaion. They will need to up their ante so that they can capture their intended market segments and at the same time make a tidy profit since Kenya is a drinking nation!

Be that as it may, we should be alive to the fact that attendant freedom calls for corresponding responsibilities lying squarely with the individual! Watch out also for the rise in Alcoholic Anonymous membership.

Enjoy the tipple and do it responsibly while at it.

THE KFF SHENANIGANS

This blogger isn’t a soccer fan. Can’t even tell an off-side if life itself depended on it. The Premier and other assorted leagues fanaticism escape this blogger’s simple mind. That it is called the beautiful games is beyond me, more so the point at which beauty and the game converge. But then again, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and this blogger isn’t a beholder. But that is neither here nor there.

The Kenyan joke that is supposed to be the soccer fraternity is in disarray. That is even to put it mildly. I can’t begin to describe the fiasco that passes for Kenyan soccer and it’s so called federation. Call it whatever you want but that will be the year’s understatement!

Ministers have come and gone but the rot, just like prostitution has stayed on to fight another day. Add that to the FIFA non government intervention and the word crisis begs for redefinition! We can’t fault Minister Maina Kamanda for not trying. Indeed he has done well in the sports ministry within a relatively short time. But the charlatans that masquerade as KFF seem to have evaded his good deeds.

In their latest fiasco, they held two parallel AGM’s, one in Kasarani in Nairobi and another in Malindi that was ‘recognised’ by FIFA! At the same time, FIFA has threatened a one year ban which this blogger feels is awfully inadequate if we are to raise the so called beautiful game from the ashes!

Maina Kamanda needs to do one thing ASAP!: Dissolve the entire KFF indefinitely!, call in KACC to investigate funds embezzlement and other corrupt misdemeanor, close his ears to FIFA noise while at it or better still, write an official letter to FIFA requesting a 5year ban! Back here, all the KFF members and delegates from National to location levels be banned from holding any position in the KFF for the next 20yrs! Desperate times call for desperate measures and the 20yr ban should be accompanied by an ‘executive order’ from the house on the hill, FIFA be damned!

From that point, we can salvage the so called beautiful game in Kenya and get in new managers to run it as a business entity that will offer employment opportunities to many, taxes from the revenue and if possible sell it to the public through the NSE. It may also become the feeding grounds for the European teams. The list is endless as are the opportunities.

Without such highhandedness, all else will become a cropper! All the best to the Harambee Stars team in their oncoming games.

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Attn: RINGERA – CUT YOUR LOSES AND RUN TO THE HILLS

If I were the KACC Director, I would now be subtly planning how to hang my boots come December 15^th this year.

Why do I say this? I would request Ringera to read Raila’s –point plan especially where it deals with corruption. First he talks about creating a Truth, Reconciliation and Restitution Commission specifically to deal with past corruption as well as a criminal justice system that will ensure the conviction of the culprits. Raila may also create a Ministry of Corruption to ‘…. Bring under one roof all the discordant and querulous institutions currently charged with the task of fighting corruption(KACC, EMU,ACPU etc), some of the existing bodies could be abolished depending on their effectiveness to avoid overspending (read KACC) on anti-corruption bodies that have produced no tangible results five years later’

Barack Muluka a regular columnist in a Saturday paper warned Ringera some time ago that the bell will one day toll for him. That the tolling may have already started this early is not in doubt.

Wake up Ringera lest your past inaction on corruption catches up with you.

PECULIAR CELLPHONE TARRIFS!

Sometimes back when Safaricom was having network congestion issues, the MD Micheal Joseph said that it was caused by Kenyan’s ‘peculiar’ calling habits! He raised hell with that reply. And he was sure of what he was talking about.

Years later, he has been vindicated and more to that his rival at Celtel has gone a mile more.

Celtel has unveiled a tariff that has caused lips to wax lyrical in Kenya. Their latest tariff Mambo 6/- is an affront to Kenyan intelligence or they are being clever by half. The tariff’s ‘off peak’ hours for you to enjoy the ‘lowest’ charge in the country runs from 11pm to 5am. Whoever Celtel is marketing this tariff to escapes this blogger’s simple mind. When one of my friends told me about it, I was waiting for something to rival Safcom’s Saasa Tariff. How wrong I was. But trust Celtel to do the unthinkable in Kenya.

Methinks that their target market was the ‘commercial love providers’ and the pimps!

DECI (PYRAMID SCHEME) THE COOKIE CRUMBLES

In the past weeks, more than 200 depositors into the famous DECI (Developing Enterprise Community Initiative) a pyramid scheme have had to live nightmares after realizing that their savings had gone with the wind literally.

It was in Machakos that they held hostage a manager for 6hrs while demanding a refund of their deposits but they couldn’t face reality that they had lost the cash. Earlier on, a Nairobi manager of the same scheme died of injuries sustained after he was thrown out of his 8^th floor office window by angry depositors who wanted their cash which he couldn’t raise.

The ‘CEO’ of the scheme has come out with assurances to the members that will get their dues in due course. But it has remained to be just that, assurances with little action to show for them.

Complaints against the scheme abound but the authorities seem lost on which law to apply since they operate in legal lacuna.

Central Bank has only repeatedly issued warnings to the public about the pyramid and ponzi schemes in the past.

Sooner rather than later, a fool and his money are parted. The question is, what do some of us Kenyans have where brains are supposed to be?

KQ’s TRAGEDY

This blogger had to hold his horses to comment on this issue in the past few days. Reason being that unsolicited views were flying left, right and centre on what could have happened blah blah blah. First of all, this blogger isn’t an aviation expert or anything remotely related to that.

Let me also pass my condolences to the families and friends of the crash victims and tell them that this blogger is with them. Spiritually that is. Now that is off my chest.

If whatever this blogger has been reading is anything to go by, then trust me that we in Kenya are in a land of plenty. Thanks God for small mercies. If we complain of bureaucracy in this country, pray I ask how Cameroonians get their things done if the officials in Cameroon are anything to go by.

How safe is the Cameroonian airspace for anyone leave alone commercial jets for that matter?

So many questions are raised about the Cameroonian administration’s ability to carry out a thorough investigation to the cause of the crash?

This blogger feel that with the few questions, incompetence gets a redefinition thanks to the Cameroonian Government.

It’s very encouraging that KQ has already started paying out compensation to the families and what makes me proud of the Naikuni team is the way they handled this tragedy and the assistance that they accorded the families of the deceased. It was world class as was Naikuni’s presence and his personal contribution in crisis management. Trust me if it was other people, they would have crumbled.

Kudos Naikuni and keep up the good work at Embakasi.

BLAIR’S EXIT

On the 27^th of June, Tony Blair will step down as the UK Premier and will usher in Gordon Brown.

Blair’s tenure has been one of mixed fortunes if I could say that. He led the party to an unprecedented three landslide election victories. He has also put UK in the world map as a player that can’t be ignored thanks to his dalliances with Bush across the Atlantic. In as much as their war on terror failed even before it started, one can’t fault him for inaction. But as they say, action doesn’t necessarily translate to motion. Methinks the war on terror is far from being won. I can’t even touch on their Iraq misadventure it is all out there for all to see, what with his ‘sexed up’ report on WMD’s!

UK’s new Premier for the time being will be Gordon Brown. A workaholic, as they say and one who has seen UK firmly out of the euro currency to retain its Pound. He has also worked out the economy to the satisfaction of the Brits and applause comes in from the World Bank also.

Blair’s effort t bringing attention to Africa endeared him to Africa and the proponents of the African cause as he named The Africa Commission while describing it as ‘a scar on the world’s conscience.’ We in Africa hope that this part of his legacy will be part and parcel of the incoming Premier even after elections.

He is also a lesson to our ‘leaders’ here in Africa. To Kibaki – To honour MOU’s as a sign of being a gentleman and to others that you can only lead for so long. He put well when he said ‘…. The only way to conquer the pull of power is to set it down.. .’

WATCHOUT! MR. KIMUNYA

This blogger’s advice to the Finance Minister is to watch what he says lest he is forced to eat humble pie. This blogger has absolutely no doubt about Kimunya’s impeccable credentials as Finance Mandarin. Absolutely, no doubt.

But Kimunya has failed on the Anglo Leasing nightmare that keeps this government wishing it was a dream which it can wish away. But he forgets that it was that issue that sent home packing his predecessor at Treasury.

Kimunya has been challenged from different quarters to come clean on the issue of pending Promissory Notes to assorted Anglo Leasing type contracts whose payments are due.

At a past press conference, he held papers said to be the Notes stating that the Irrevocable Promissory Notes had now been returned and revoked altogether. Obviously, he couldn’t say who had returned the notes and when they had been returned. When he was asked to table them in Parliament, he said that he couldn’t since there is an ongoing investigation. Hello! Am I missing something?

Besides that, he insists that Kenya owes only Ksh25B while the Auditor General says the debt stands at Ksh56B after his investigations!

Either Kimunya takes Kenyans to be so gullible they can take his words hook line and sinker, or he has clearly lost it. Methinks, its both.

TUTU RAILS AT MUGABE

Archbishop Desmond Tutu the Nobel Laureate has again condemned Mugabe’s acts of violence against his people and the Opposition led my Tsvangirai.

Speaking while in Hawaii with students aboard a cruise vessel, he said it was sad that South Africa had failed to talk against Mugabe’s excessive violence and gross abuse of human rights.

A human rights crusader in his own right, Tutu the icon of conscience in South Africa said that he believed that Zimbabweans felt let down by African leaders’ failure to castigate Mugabe about his excesses.

Already, the silence from the Mbeki government as well as the AU is being felt as an impediment to ridding Zimbabwe off Mugabe.

There is no doubt that Mugabe is a great freedom fighter and he also helped ANC in fighting apartheid. But his buffoonery should be accorded the seriousness it deserves and ANC shouldn’t fear to tell him to his face that what he is doing is wrong. They should make him accommodate the opposition. But then again, South Africa still has the Land Problem that has degenerated into chaos in Zimbabwe. When you add the twin issues of Land and support to ANC in the 80’s, then South Africa’s silence sort of (I repeat, sort of), makes sense!

And Tutu will be at it again to the silent chagrin of the ANC and South African Freedom Heroes.

Notable absence to Tutu’s beef is Mugabe’s burlesque retorts to anyone who speaks against him.

The man may still harbors respect for Tutu.

In another surprise, Zimbabwe has narrowly been voted in as the chair to the UN Environment Commision

THE MAKERERE REPORT

The commission that was appointed by Museveni to look at the fees hike at Makerere and other universities in Uganda is now out.

The commission unearthed corruption, embezzlement of funds, bad governance as well as commercilsation of education at East Africa’s premier education faculty now aged 85.

The 35pg dossier also cites lack of professionals to an extent that some faculties are managed by assistant lecturers instead of full professors. The report also adds that the accounting processes used are archaic creating loopholes for embezzlement. There was also a difference noted in the budget and the report figures that couldn’t be accounted for.

The institution also failed to account for all the monies generated as income to the university and also failed to explain the lack of professionals as well as the internal strife in the leadership ranks.

There is an urgent need to address the problems facing this institution and Museveni’s act is a step in the right direction.

Makerere has an alumnus that reads like who is who of East African leadership to world academia that should all rally around the university and support this sleeping giant.

It would be a terrible thing to waste.

GAYS AND LESBIANS DECRY DISCRIMINATION

The only gay association in Africa held a conference in Johannesburg, South Africa. Note that this is the only country in Africa that has enshrined the gay rights and issues in its constitution.

The conference attended by 60 gay people issued a report to the effect that they had been observing keenly the dangers that were as a result of public policies being passed by African governments making the acts illegal.

According to them, if laws that were accommodative to them were passed, people would understand them more.

This blogger’s two cents worth of advice to them is this: Do that in South Africa for if you try anywhere else in Africa, trust me, you will be ran out of town if not put in the coolers. Beyond that, do it in pitch darkness!

NATION MEDIA LEARNING PROGRAMME

East and Central Africa leading media house NMG has started a programme aimed at not only bringing professionalism in the media but one that will see that the media house has a constant and consistent supply of reliable human resource at their disposal. It will be used to expose university and college students to business and journalism for a period of one year. This is in line with NMG’s strategy to make it the Leading Media for Africa.

There will also be mentorship programmes carried out by senior editors as well as reporters.

Indeed, this is one way that the media house will revolutionise the industry in Kenya.

Amid the scandals surrounding the management, they have their priorities right.

The results of the venture will be seen in the coming years. Undoubtedly, this is a long term project.

WHY MUSIKARI IS KOMBO(KOMBO)!

Imagine a situation in which a rapist is jailed for life then he goes ahead and refuses to go to jail then walks out majestically from the court precincts! Back to his home! Or in a worst case scenario, a murderer doing the same! Just imagine. What are we mere mortals to make of that? Shock? Surprise? Outrage, Outcry? Or what?

Now, let me bring your attention to the Kombo vs Taib. What is the difference with the above scenario? Absolutely nothing!

The highest court in the land ordered Kombo to gazette the reinstatement of Taib as the Mayor of Mombasa. In front of cameras without an iota of shame, he says he will disobey the order! Again, what’s the difference with the above scenario? None, according to this blogger.

If a Cabinet Minister can shamelessly ridicule a court order just because it has passed a verdict against him, what are we the holloi polloi to take about that? How would he have reacted if Shitanda had disobeyed the order reinstating him as the Chairman of the Ford K party? He would have appealed the decision of the court! Why he failed to ask for another appeal beats all logic.

As the sensible politician he has always tried to project himself to be, this time, he has gone overboard, stooped too low and lost credibility. Evidently, he can’t say that he is a democrat because my little understanding of democracy is that it is about the rule of law. But then again, after December 31st, 2002, it has become just mere talk. Ignoring court orders with impunity is the standard procedure by the Cabinet members.

The ball is now in the Judiciary’s court. Annul the Mayoral elections and institute contempt of court proceedings against Kombo. Then, at least some sanity may prevail and he may serve as a lesson to other government officials who may be harbouring such intentions! Failure to that, we are playing with fire and we will get burnt.

EQUITY OUTDOES ITSELF AGAIN

From its humble beginnings in the 80’s in Central Province to its listing at the NSE, one thing is clear, that Equity has indeed come a long way. It’s also true that this is one stock to watch in the financial segment of NSE, and a good bet for short to long term growth.

The recently released financial report attests to this. Have a Look:

Pretax profit Ksh176M to Ksh503M up 186%,
Income from commissions & fees Ksh336M to Ksh673M,
Operating Income Ksh611M to Ksh1.17B up 92%,
Customer Deposits Ksh9.4B to Ksh20.2B up 112%,
Customer Accounts 668,449 to 1.15M accounts – 30% of all accounts in Kenya.
Loans and Advances Ksh7.1B to Ksh13.8B
Overhead Expenses Ksh434M to Ksh667M due to salary adjustments & additional staff.

The bank was in the last week rated by GCR of South Africa and had its long term upgrading in Kenya Shilling to A+ from A and Short term upgrading to Single A1 from A1(-).

In the last week, Equity has opened branches in Diani, Mombasa and Malindi.

Clearly, this is the bank to watch.

CLASHES NEED A POLITICAL SOLUTION

After Mama Lucy paid a visit to Mt. Elgon even before the thought had occurred in the mind of our ‘national security’ insecurity minister, she requested the churches to go forth and make peace with the warring people.

If you ask this blogger, candidly, that is just one of her usual empty rhetoric that this government is so fond of. Too much talking and less walking of the talk. But as the President’s wife, (methinks she represented the President) that was her opinion and she had to air it and if we thought otherwise, we could as well as go and pond sand elsewhere.

I have issues with her request if that is what it was.

In Mt. Elgon and other flare-up areas, there are mosques and churches attended by the adherents on Fridays and Sundays respectively. What is clear is that there hasn’t been any religious tension in these areas.

What the areas have are politically motivated problems making Lucy’s call, a call in the wilderness. What is needed is a political solution as well as the will to solve the land question.

Any other approach will fail dismally and the earlier the people concerned see this, the better.

KENYA BLEEDS!

From Banana in Kiambu where mungiki has raised hell, to Nairobi’s matatu extortion victims, head all the way to Mt. Elgon where flare-ups have made Kenyans refugees in Uganda and others in their own country, then look at the other trouble spots like Kuria, Baringo, Molo, Marsabit and you get lost!

The question that begs for answers is this, where is the government and what is it doing to stop the bloodletting?

Remember that the government has the monopoly of violence that now seems to have been liberalized like other sectors of or 'investors' in the economy. The little that has remained in the government control is used to harass journalists and raid the media houses.

I feel that if Michuki and Ali feel that they are on top of matters security, then a sacking would remind them that they are not and remind the newcomers into the seats that they are not indispensable if they can’t deliver. That again is expecting too much from this administration.

The public notice by the police offering Ksh250,000.00 in exchange for the whereabouts of the Trans-Nzoia killers is an effort in futility. If the former Special Branch is highly ranked in espionage matters in Africa, pray I ask, why Ali or Michuki can’t ask for their assistance.

But one question I ask myself is if the government realizes that it is bleeding votes when it fails to respond to the suffering of its very own people. I don’t think so.

IS IT THE LONG ARM OF THE LAW OR IS THE LAW AN ASS?

A mkokoteni pusher while passing by the gates of Nanyuki GK Prison, called the Warders guarding the gate dogs! (ngui, mbwa in Kikuyu & Swahili respectively) and added that since they weren’t policemen, they couldn’t arrest him.

Arresting him they did, handed him to the police who later took him to court and prosecuted him with a law in our statutes that says “……….creating disturbance in manner likely to cause a breach of peace…..” whatever that means!

Our man is now in the coolers for three months and if he can afford it, he was given a fine of Ksh10,000.00 option after pleading guilty to the ‘offence’ under the influence of alcohol!

How insulting Prison Warders or Police for that matter is a breach of peace escapes this blogger’s simple mind. In any case, they do not treat the public any better and as such, respect being a two way, give and take scenario, they shouldn’t have prosecuted him.

In this case, I think that the law is an ass!

THE REALITY OF TUITION FEE WAIVER

I think that the celebration after Kibaki waived tuition fee from January 2008 Secondary School fees will not only be short lived but its also a political ploy bound to fall flat on its face.

The last time I checked, tuition fees constituted the least amount in the total fee structure and rated from Ksh200.00 to Ksh3, 600.00 per term per child depending on the level of the school from National to the District Schools. To say that the government was waiving this fee is, in reality an insult on the intelligence of parents in the know. Has someone noted the silence that is coming from KNUT? Why? You may ask, because they know the reality.

But, this being an election year, God forbid, we will be promised heaven. Trust me on that.

The Ksh4B that will be waived may be used to standardize the sciences laboratories across the Secondary schools or create the necessary ICT infrastructure to the schools and make Computer Studies a mandatory subject. Or, if the above is too hard to conceive in the minds of the senile leaders we voted in, then they can build more secondary schools to increase the rate of transition from Primary to Secondary School.

This I believe will have more impact on our people than the waiver. The results will be immediate and will benefit the country for years to come.

But as I said earlier, we are in an election year and more unplanned promises are bound to come our way this time round.

As they say, watch the gift horse on the mouth and read in between those lines.

REDUCED POVERTY? TELL IT TO THE BIRDS!

This blogger isn’t a cynic, at least to my understanding of the word. But I try as much to look at issues with an open mind as well as realistically.

Statistics and Mathematics (except cash arithmetic) weren’t my forte when the teacher was eating chalk dust in class donkey years ago. However, I do have a semblance of knowledge to make sense of numbers and figures being touted about by the Planning Ministry.

That more people today live above the Ksh70 per day index is far fetched as far as I am concerned mainly because there is no plausible explanation to this issue.

Consider this: Oil which has gone down in the International Market, has failed to reflect the same, instead, it has gone up in cost with a ripple effect on other consumables like foodstuffs.

Evidence of diminishing purchasing power is abound. Look at the so called ‘kadogo economy’! It started with blueband and now it encompasses virtually all essential household useable from milk, tealeaves, sugar, salt, wheat and maize flour, toothpaste to bath and laundry soaps! If the manufacturer hasn’t packed it in minute packs, trust me, the retail kiosks are doing it!

Yes, we may have cleaner streets to walk on, well lit roads in town but, hell; we can’t turn them into food!

The survey, am sure (recall, figures baffle this blogger) doesn’t factor in recent upsurge in crime (that only the police seem to win it in their minds), nor did it factor in the cost of transport and how many Kenyans now walk to work!

I still find the Ksh70 index as laughable! Pray, I ask what you can purchase with Ksh 70 today. Tea leaves, sugar, salt, bread, maize flour? I don’t know, but I have this feeling that I am lost somewhere in all this!

While these figures may give the Government something to brag about, like the proverbial 5.8% economic growth and use it as a campaign tool, the situation on the ground is in total contrast and they can discover this if they really go out there and conduct unbiased polls! They will be surprised by what they will discover.

I can bet you one thing though, that Kenyans aren’t gullible as the powers that be think, methinks that this will dawn on them when it’s too late to do anything! On 31st December, 2007.

THE THEATRE OF THE ABSURD POLLS

In our political arena, few things call for superior minds. In fact, since our MP’s re anything but smart, you don’t need to be graduate to figure them out.

However, one thing that has consistently, escaped this blogger's simple mind is the current polls being churned left, right and centre by all manner of research organizations, public, private and what have you.

Apart from percentages (of what?) and the names of candidates and polled, for this blogger, everything else might as well as be in Chinese!

Consider this: Some few weeks ago we were told that Kibaki’s ratings were at 50%. Hardly had the ink dried on the paper than another poll showed that his ratings had gone up overnight to a 65% the highest so far! Being neither too clever nor too stupid, I believe that for every effect (15% rise) there is a corresponding cause (?).

My two cents worth of opinion is that such a rise/drop needs some tangible reason for it to be noted. I repeat that’s, my opinion!

Look at this: Immediately after 9/11, Bush’s rating went to a high of more that 75%. The reason being that, Americans coalesced around the President and that Institution of the Presidency! Now that is a tangible reason for a surge in rating. And, that is what we are lacking here!

What we have in our scenario, is factors or rather issues that would ensure that Kibaki’s rating is forever in the one digit bracket! How do you sort out these issues?

• 
  Anglo Leasing Scams
  Lucy storming t Nation Media
  The Standard Raid by Rattled Snakes aka Government
  The Artur Brothers Escapade
  President’s preoccupation on members of his immediate family
  Kibaki’s latest acquired lingua franca mavi ya kuku, pumbavu, wakufe etc
  The return of the matatu menace
  The Mungiki bloodletting
  The Return of the rut Brothers
  Tribalism in Government
  Unemployment
  Escalating poverty
  Rise in cost of essential commodities
  Mt Elgon clashes

And many more that this simple mind can’t recall.
And, if all the above kept the President’s ratings skyrocketing, then by God I need civic education!

BETH MUGO vs. LENANA SCHOOL

For close to two years now, Beth Mugo has been abusing her powers by trying to pressurize the Lenana Principal and the BOG to hive off 50acres off their 240 acres that the school sits on, so that Dagoretti Constituency which she represents can build a ‘model school.’

Since in her escapades she has encountered a not too pleasant reception at the said school, she has roped in the Education PS, Karega Mutahi. Why some otherwise smart people have a propensity to act stupid at times escapes my simple mind.

She has gone ahead and mentioned the President's name in a bid to scare the principal and the BOG into submission, but they have held their guns, that such a directive should be accompanied by a letter to the order, directive or whatever it is!

Supporting the Principal all the way is the BOG (FYI there are attempts to sack the Principal and dissolve the BOG) led by its Chairman Mr. Isaac Githuthu. The board has held its ground that it will not cede the land since Lenana is a National School, except with a written approval from the President himself!

Though Mugo and Co’s antics will not take them far, the fact that needs appreciation is that no one, can invoke the President’s name as a source of the an order or directive without the proof of that by a written letter to that effect.

That this issue has run for two years with Kibaki’s knowledge or not is neither here nor there, the point to look at is that, while they may have discussed this, the fact that the Principal and the BOG have held their ground may have given Kibaki a rope to help Mugo commit political suicide. But that waits to be seen.

Evidently, the old boys of this great school and they are many in influential positions, should be enough to scare Mugo from her antics. But then again, they who the gods have singled out for destruction, they first drive mad!

My advice to Mugo (two cents worth) is Keep Off Lenana unless you are on a political suicide mission!

THE CIRCUS THAT IS KACC – RINGERA AT IT AGAIN!

Whenever this blogger comes across news in the media that quotes Ringera, its with deep seated concern that reality sets in, that the ‘war on corruption’ if there ever was one, was lost even before it was began.

Listen to his recent diatribe, “Without political goodwill, they (anti-corruption institutions) are like candles in the wind, subject to the vagaries of self-serving judicial pronouncements and Executive interference.”

If there is one person who has perfected the art of placing blame elsewhere except on his desk due to incompetence, then, Ladies and Gentlemen, meet Mr. Ringera.

Hear another form the Dragon Slayer, “Kenyans will only be satisfied if suspects are identified from [by the] Press, arrested in the morning, charged, tried and sentenced by lunchtime, shot dead by 4pm and buried before sunset.” Very true Mr.Ringera, the only problem is that if you were to walk your talk, the war on corruption would have been dealt with firmly and we would be having many graves all over the country!

His defense of the commission that he heads is as tired as it is old, “….. it has no prosecutorial powers…!”

So far, only Ksh12M has been recovered by the commission against his salary of Ksh30M per annum.

Clearly, we Kenyans aren’t getting our Return on Investment as far as this venture is concerned.

THE MTONGWE ANNIVERSARRY

13 Years go on a fateful morning, one of the Mtongwe ferries capsized and took with it the lives of more than 200 passengers. As the relatives of the victims and survivors met at the Mtongwe jetty last week, one thing was in their mind – their delayed compensation from the Government.

The government owns the ferries through the Kenya Ports Authority and Kenya Ferry Services.

What is surprising is that KFS says that Ksh35M has already been released to families of approximately 148 victims and that the firm needed at least Ksh20M to pay the remaining claims.

The most likely scenario is that Lawyers squandered money for the clients and remitted meager funds.

In this case, the assessors stated that the passengers bore 30% of the blame for boarding an overloaded ferry, while the KPA & KFS bore 70% due to the negligence.

How long it will take to compensate the families financially, only heavens know.

But that’s Kenya for you.

TREAT EMPLOYEE BETTER?

Ever watched the movie ‘Devil Wears Prada’? Now that’s the kind of hold on employees that some managers wish to have.

Picture this: Your boss’s chauffer has hardly found a parking slot for the stretch limo, he sends a ‘please call me’ to the receptionist and in that instance she shouts to all, ‘the almighty is here!’ you even know how long the lifts will take to deliver him/her at the front door! Hell breaks lose and a compounding silence engulfs the floor you would be forgiven to think that you are in a morgue! When she sneezes, everyone rises to her bid!

My readers, welcome to the scene that is replayed in different ways but all the same in Kenya’s 95% of the corporate world.

What we fail to understand is that, when workers are mistreated, the overall looser is the owners, employers and the shareholders. The workers will walk and find other places to work.

We also fail to realize that no matter how superior a Company brand is, no matter how large the market share it enjoys, no matter well the shareholders dividends are, the greatest asset to the company is always the human resource. The people in the company. You can only herd them for so long, then, the cookie will crumble one day one time.

Fortunately, nothing, even the best systems can match a dedicated workforce. And the workers have realized that they now are valuable and any slight suspicion of mistreatment is bound to open floodgates of walkouts!

As such, workers are to be pampered. In any case, the beneficiary remains to be the business owners.

Sir Richard Branson says that on hierarchy levels, workers are always a priority over the rest, then the creditors, debtors and the shareholders at the last of the pecking order.

THE STRIP MUGABE DEGREES CAMPAIGN!

With a country having an inflation level shooting towards 2000% and hitting down hard on the political opponents, some European and American Universities have found themselves receiving dossiers urging them to strip Dr. Bob his degrees. But what is really hilarious isn’t the effort being put to strip him off the papers that allow him to do all that appertains to the degrees; rather it’s the retorts coming from none other than his Spokesman.

Typically, Mugabesque. Hear him: “……. Mugabe doesn’t lose sleep over the threats….” Another “…… its not like the President suffers a crisis of achievement, he has seven solid degrees which are more than enough to earn him a living and recognition…..”

Among the Universities being petitioned are Universities of: Edinburgh, Massachusetts, and Michigan State.

Other verbal gem from Bob’s Spokesman: “…… Mugabe has read for seven degrees, he has honorary degrees from Africa, Asia, Eastern Europe America and Europe. Honorary degrees are exactly an unsolicited honors from the give, the President didn’t accost anyone to confer the honors, if anything, the Western Universities improved their profile by associating themselves with the President………”

As hilarious as this may be, this former Africa’s Bread-basket is doing worse than Somalia which hasn’t had a government for more than a decade and half. Reason being that, even with seven degrees, Mugabe is a megalomaniac psychopath.

God Save Zimbabwe.

BEING SINGLE IS THE ‘IN THING’!

In a survey that has put 16M Kenyans below the extreme poverty line of less than $1 a day income, a new issue has gone unnoticed.

That the number of adults who have never married is on the rise with those choosing to be single standing at 38%.

It quotes Rift Valley province with the highest singles at 48% followed by Western with 40%.

Single hood has been blamed on secularization and the modern work ethics taking centre stage. Education also shares blame as a delay agent of marriage.

The survey was funded by the Government to the tune of Ksh620M

Is this a case of the men and women having their cake and eating it too?

ARE YOU THE FATHER OR NOT!

A local daily ran an expose about paternity tests in Kenya carried out at the Government Chemists/KNH. Captioned “Half of Paternity Tests Return False” it brought out the oft know truth which is a hardly spoken truth. That many men support or bring up kids who they haven’t sired is not in doubt. Look at most families’ first born to get the picture.

As per the article, in the last two years, of the 137 tests carried out, 50% had negative results. We are talking about 69 tests registering negative. This is a very high figure which should have men very, very afraid. Also, considering that those who knew of the existence of this facility are very few, this blogger included, then you can get the picture that will paint itself once it becomes common knowledge that you can burst you wife cheating antics from them old days! This blogger has always thought that DNA Profiling was only unreasonably priced (Ksh 40,000.00 -60,000.00) where you submit your kid’s saliva wiped by a napkin or even the easily got, used ear bud! Here, you have to submit blood samples at the cheaper rate of Ksh5, 000.00 per sample.

For locals disputing or suspecting their wives of infidelity, the Ksh 5,000.00 is what I would call a worthy investment. Apparently, Kenya’s Laboratory is as good as any other in the world. Recall also that when people heard about DNA Profiling first was when the Government pulled an old relic from Ethiopia in the name of Gen. Mathenge. Second time was when the CID Forensic Lab was mentioned by Githongo in his famous dossier.

The stats are that DNA Profiling studies show that 30% of men aren’t biological fathers of kid they presume to be theirs.

Women scheming to drag men down the aisle thanks to a pregnancy have been check-mated!

Meaning that while maternity isn’t debatable, paternity is a matter of presumption.