An Ethnic Joke Taken To Far. Dont you think so?

This is a loaded ethnic joke taken too far. It demonstrates what the
common man has been primed to fear about a Luo presidency however
qualified
the candidate might be. Unfortunately there are too many ignorant
people
out there who believe the ruse and a few luos who perpetuate the
stereotype. I have always wondered why Raila is considered head over
shoulders the ‘best’ Kenyan candidate for executive Prime Minister
(check
all polls on this) and with the same breath a Luo when it comes to the
position of President even with reduced powers!! I am lost.



This is Raila's Speech

Thank u for voting me as the Kenya No.1, though I think u should have
done it long time ago. I wonder why it took u so long to allow me be
the president, but anyway, this is how am going to work:

1) All roads must be carpeted............no pot-holes...........if u
spot any pot-hole please sack the minister via SMS............I will
approve it and pay u his benefits because u shall have saved us from
constituting a commission of enquiry.

2) All Children in School must be No.1 and share the same
grades...those who don't perform well should be given free Government
Scholarships to India, Dubai, and the rest of the world because my
government will deal with the best.

3) All Employers advertising jobs must indicate that they are looking
for PhD holders. Basic degrees should be left for messengers so that
people can work harder and be professionals.

4) There will be free medical cover in all public hospitals and no
private clinic will be allowed to operate unless it is run by a Luo
Professor who went to school in Alliance, Makerere, Maseno or Harvard
as any other person could be a Kikuyu conman.

5)You do not need a license to demonstrate or protest in the street as
that will be licensed opposition since after I take over Government,
there won't be any known opposition. The demonstrations shall help me
know I need to improve

6) Every constituency must have its own University so that immediately
from 4th Form...our children just join University.

7) Its going to be Majimbo system with all Government organs
decentralized....all landlords in Nairobi be warned the Government will
regulate all house rents.

8) Garbage collectors be warned and start looking for other jobs
because garbage collection will be a thing of the past.

9) Chokoras...Get ready to join schools because it will be illegal to
be seen begging and hanging around in the streets of Nairobi.

10)Policemen- there is no more toa kitu kidogo as it will carry a death
penalty since corruption will be a thing of the past.

11) Thugs get ready- there will be no need to steal since all of us
will be having jobs and not struggling.

12) Pastors- there shall be no more messages of "Receive, plant a seed
for your financial breakthrough", because your members will start
asking you where u take all that money to and yet the Government pays
for free Education up to University and free medical care while the
churches don't pay Orphans school fees. Church will be a place of
Worship
and
Worship alone.

13)If u don't drive a Mercedes Benz or GMC Hummer ....u will be
required
to contact the government to assist u obtain one from Germany

14) Collapsing Houses- That will be a thing of the past as only Luo
Engineers from Makerere and Harvard will approve house
constructions...not crooks.

15) Water Rationing - Lake Victoria will supply all ur water needs as
the Government will embark on serious water supply measures to ensure
that all have water in their homes.

16)Electricity Rationing:- If u can't access Electricity, then solar
panels will be available at Government Offices free of charge...u only
need to confirm which Engineer is installing it for you.

17)Political Campaigns- that will be a thing of the past as this nation
will engage every idle MP and get them better jobs if serving as an MP
is not enough.

18) My Term in Office - Lifetime because u will never think of
Replacing Raila....as u cannot find his match.

19)Prisoners - You will miss Moody Awori with his empty dancing tactics
and yet he still leaves u in jail and drives out in sleek Mercedes
Benz.
Being jailed will carry the instant death penalty like the Sadaam case
so as to decongest our prison cells and so nobody will desire to be
jailed. All Kenyans will work harder and avoid committing crimes.

20) Business Men - No clearance problems at the airport as all our
Goods and products will be locally sourced and processed. We are going
to promote local industries to thrive from within.

21) Mtumba Bizness- start looking for something else to do because
everybody must wear Kenyan made designer label clothes, only Ministers
and I will be allowed to import from Paris.

22)Fuel Hike - the Arab nations are my friends and I have promised them
cheap Fish and a few Luo think tanks like Anyan'g Nyon'go to help them
manage their billions in exchange of cheap or almost free Oil.

23)Evading Tax - how do u evade paying tax when there will be KRA
officials employed to collect tax and VAT from every building in the
country, each building that comes up must set aside an office for a KRA
official to vet and control Tax for the Government.

24) Foreigners doing our Jobs - Not anymore as we have locals who can
perform, the only foreigner we might employ to supervise them would be
Senator Obama who will be flying in and out Daily.

25) Mungiki Killings - Who do they kill and we shall employ at least 2
policemen in every home and Ndura Waruinge made Internal Security
Minister because he knows all the thugs.

26) Mismanagement of Funds & Terrorism - It will be a thing of the past
since George W. Bush & Tony Blair shall have retired and will be hired
to work as a consultants in Kenya.

27) My Running Mate - I don't need one I can do all things alone.

Signed :
Raila Amolo Odinga
Engineer, Langata MP and President of Kenya 2008 & beyond .